My Moment of Realisation; Everything is Energy

Eight years I spent in a relationship that I knew wasn’t right for me, eight years! I really never expected it to go on that long and looking back I know that I was ignoring the signals my mind and body were giving me, I  was refusing to follow my inner guidance. Ultimately this lead me loose not only a huge amount of time but also myself. .. Really, I lost myself completely. My self confidence, self respect and personal power had been stripped away until there was nothing left.

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                I remember sitting one night feeling the loneliest I had ever felt in my life. There I was in my living room with my then partner, not one word had been spoken between us and as he sat there drinking beer and listening to music (with headphones on, I mean come on Laura, alarms bells were ringing!!!) I began to wonder what on earth I was doing with my life and what had become of me.

                You see, as I sat there I could hear a voice saying “What is it that makes you tick Laura? What gets you excited about life?” and as I tried to come up with an answer I realised that I didn’t know, I mean I couldn’t think of one thing that got my juices flowing and there used to be so many.

`               My heart started to race and I felt this wave of sadness come over me as the truth of my situation hut me, like punch in my stomach; I didn’t know who I was anymore. Through not following my gut instincts for so long I had lost myself, I’d become a shell of the person I used to be, even I struggled to believe that I use to be full of a zest for life, full of positivity, forever the optimist. I felt like a failure, pathetic and weak and this was hard for me to accept.

                Over the course of the next few days I began to work through the emotional scale with the reality that I was facing. I felt depressed about most things in my life, my partner, my surroundings, the lack that I was feeling was overwhelming and I started to get angry with what was going on around me which lead me to look for people and things to blame. Inwardly I blamed my partner, it was his fault my life had got so shit! He was the one that was dragging me down with him I mean he never had any get up and go, he was always fu​​​​​ll of excuses and never took responsibility for his actions. This train of thought helped me start to figure some things out but really playing the victim was getting me now where all it did was keep me going round in circles in my head, having one sided conversations that ultimately served no purpose. This was the beginning of the end of my relationship but it still took about 6 months from this point for the break to actually manifest.

                One night, I went to visit my best friend, for weeks she’d been banging on about a DVD that we just had to watch and this was the night that the Universe decided I was ready to realign with a forgotten truth. So we got comfortable on the sofa, she pressed play and on came “The Secret”. There had always been a knowing inside of me that we all came here with purpose and that we are all connected to everything but I had never dived in to this idea fully before, I suppose I was too busy looking outside for guidance. Within a few minutes of watching I had a major AHA moment, everything just fell into place and made sense. The mess that was my life was ALL my own doing, I had created it all and I had just kept on adding fuel to the train of negative momentum that I was riding. The moment that I took responsibility for my actions was the moment I had been waiting for. The clarity that I now felt, the personal power that had been missing from me for so long came back with a BANG... EVERYTHING IS ENERGY, EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED, I CREATE MY REALITY! I understood then that my feelings and emotions have always been there to guide me but because I paid them no attention when I should have my life snowballed out of control and I allowed it to keep going. But not anymore, my inner fire had been ignited; I felt a connection to my source energy that I hadn’t felt for a long time. I was in control of my life, well to be more precise my thoughts and emotions were and this made me feel excited, it made me feel whole again.

                From then on I made a conscious decision to care about my thoughts and to care more importantly about my feelings. I was still in my crap relationship but I knew this wouldn’t last and I knew that I didn’t have to do anything, it would take care of itself...and it did. The more I put myself first and kept the positive momentum going the more the negative people, situations and things stopped appearing in my life. My partner started to see the difference in me, he started to see that strong woman (who I used to be) reemerge and he didn’t like it, I think because it reflected the same fears I had come up against in him.

                 A couple of more months passed, we had spoke about going our separate ways but I was determined not to push for the solution, I knew the Universe would provide the perfect one and it did. He announced that he was moving out and going to try something else, somewhere else and this suited me just fine. I like where I stayed, so didn’t really want to move out, we shared the same friends and I didn’t really want to be bumping into him, so this was music to my ears. The day he moved out I had already started to redecorate and reorganise the house. Not to be nasty or rub his nose in it, I had been waiting so long for this change that I had to implement change straight away; I had to create harmonised energies around me.

                As soon as he was gone my momentum flowed like never before but now in a positive direction. I set up my own business doing beauty and complimentary therapies as this had been my background since I was eighteen and I knew I was an excellent therapist. It took less than four weeks for me to get everything organised and within six weeks I had already attracted enough clients to keep my head above water. Every day I meditated and devoted some time for affirmations and visualisations. The time I spent traveling to and from clients was great for affirmations and from out of the blue the Universe gave me Reiki.

                It wasn’t a new thing to me; I had treatments before which I thoroughly enjoyed and the healing technique of Reiki really gelled with me because it is a form of energy healing, I mean I got it! But then I was introduced to lady through a mutual friend, this lady then went on to become my Reiki Master and mentor. As soon as I met her I knew I would become attuned to Reiki, not just for personal use, I knew that this would become a way of life for me, it was a true calling. I immersed myself in Reiki, crystal healing, meditation and mindset and I have never looked back. The Universe had hand delivered the tools that I required to not only take back my personal power but to align me with my higher self, my souls purpose and my source of happiness.

                The next three years were the ultimate journey of self discovery for me and I loved every second of it, I had no distractions and everyone that was in my life complimented who I was and where I wanted to go, for the first time I felt free and limitless, I truly knew that I could do anything I wanted and from that came a new direction.

                One day I was looking through my jewellery box and I came across a St Christopher that had been given to me by an old boyfriend, whom I hadn’t seen or heard of for years. I picked it up, went down memory lane, smiled and then put it back and never gave it a second thought. Exactly two weeks later I received a friend request from him on face book. Exactly two weeks after that he came up to visit me for a couple of days and as soon as I laid eyes on him at the train station I knew that was it. It was like I hadn’t seen him for a week, not fifteen years, being with him felt easy, I didn’t have to pretend, everything just flowed, I had never known a relationship to be so natural feeling but now I know this is exactly how relationships are meant to be. But it was more than that, I knew I didn’t have to rely on another person for my happiness, I created my happiness, ME!

                Eight years on and I am still with him. He is now my husband of three years and we have a beautiful son aged four and I am also a step mum to two gorgeous girls, one seventeen and the other nine. We live in our dream home and we are blessed with a fantastic love of life in all that we do and it just keeps on getting better.

                After having my son, it was time to re-evaluate my direction. I had always been a therapist and truth be told it was always the healing therapies that I felt a pull for, so I decided that when I went back to work I was only going to do the stuff I enjoyed and that was energy healing and mindset.

                You see we are both physical and non physical all at the same time, we are energy beings. Most of us have no problem in identifying with our physical bodies, their needs and their wants but we have been detached from our non physical bodies through conditioning in one way or another. Once I made that connection within, once I started to honor the non physical part of my being with energy work and healing, everything and I do mean everything fell in to place. When I look after myself with meditation, Reiki and other forms of energy healing my whole being is taken care of​​​​. I can read the patterns in my physical body better, I can get through emotional changes better and my mental clarity is the best it’s ever been and even when it isn’t, I now welcome the contrast that life throws my way and I grow in every which way from it.

                We are constantly vibrating at a frequency and that frequency is attracting to it more of the same, so the question we have to ask ourselves is this; what frequency am I putting out in to the Universe? Is it the optimal one for me? Look around at your life and all of the components that make it up, that is the best indicator as to what you’re putting out. And if the picture you’ve created really isn’t what you want to see then what are you going to do about it? Taking care of yourself, your whole self should be your number one priority. You have a lifetime relationship with you first and foremost; don’t you owe it to yourself to invest your time and energy properly?

                Now I walk my talk and I let my light shine out for others to see. I get to help people discover their true source of happiness within by facilitating that energetic shift that allows them to see the truth in the reflection staring back at them, the truth that they are a divinely created energy being.

Love and Light

Laura xx